Raindrops

Grey
Oppressive
foreboding sky
making her shy
an inner voice exclaims, "I don't want to run in this!"
the bus stops
she finds the trail

green lushness stops her in her
already sodden tracks

deeper in this green world
she begins to see raindrops bounce off leaves
and even her nose

she absorbs this wet world
embracing the sensations it offers
she stops again to examine the drops
suspended on a clover - perfect little orbs

she wonders...
if it wasn't for the weather, they might have been tears
the tears of a jilted lover pining for past and lost years

she moves on -- thankful for the raindrops

Shells

Why does his shell feel so hard
She cannot hear him deep inside
Their tears flow deep and unseen
Life just isn't the same it seems

She tries to breach his hidden shell
She wants to calm his living hell
He knows exactly how she feels
But time and space can only heal

How wasted nights fill empty space
Replacing their hidden special place
Can what was close become so distant
Now all that exists is stark resistance

Minor victories go without compliment
As if dismissed without sentiment
Pride is quickly tossed aside
When only hurt exists inside

Meanwhile she ponders in despair
Bound with a love belonging elsewhere
Are dreams just cheap tricks of hope
Minor distractions are how she copes

Her life-long love has long gone
Left her feeling that it's all a con
She got lost living a life of lies
Until it filled with empty despise

Appeasement killed her with subtle ease
As she lived life in order to please
She never heard her inward sound
A part of her was dead she found

Time never slowed or stood still
For her to see what was real
Did true love ever really exist
Was it another delusion of bliss

Autumn came when she found answers
Again her life was full of laughter
Still many questions remain unasked
And answers hide behind a mask

Those small victories she yearns to share
Quickly pass now he's not there
Pride is just a passing phase
Restored by memories of long gone days

She longs to comfort her hurting muse
But she knows that he'll pull through
She's careful of his fragility
And patiently waits with mental agility

An agility that dances around despair
Has she choreographed steps to nowhere
Or will he reappear a willing partner
And take her hand and dance beside her

by Karen Bayley-Ewell July 28, 2011

Closing Doors

her internal door slammed shut inside
after such a crushing surprise
she wanted to just run and hide
but sat staring crying inside

things weren't suppose to end this way
staring back at what the words say
"I owe you much it's fair to say.
I just can't love you, I'm afraid"

how can she go out and play
when she felt she just died today
she'll bury her hurt deep inside
they'll be moments to sit and cry

how she dances the night away
a few smiles keeps the pain at bay
she hides it well from the outside
only a few more hours to hide

she arrives home safely at long last
feelings brew behind an iron mask
as suppressed tears release inside
she feels as dark as the night outside

an iron door locks her love within 
she'll never be the same again
residing in her living hell
hopefully time will break the spell

Closed Door by Adrenoverse

Hidden views

From the high trails of an Island across the bay, a cityscape gleamed and sparkled in the haze of an early morning sun. Silver slithers shimmered from east to west from across the bay. White horses decorated with diamonds speckled the bay and sparkled as they bobbed up and down in their azure blue arena. Occasionally, a flair of color would help the white horses along their way. Thin wisps of early morning fairy-tail mist enveloped a small island castle like fingers hiding a secret. White wispy fingers reached out across the bay and crept under the red span of a bridge whose towers watched over the enchanted city. The city shone and glistened like a jewel in a crown as sunbeams bounced around glass towers piercing the blue. Alas, this enchanting surreal scene exists only in the eyes of a few.

Hidden behind those sparkles are boxes of burnt-out candles entrapped in a cage of age, loneliness and poverty. Their flames long extinguished, the candles remain boxed up and invisible, but other candles burn through the night. Twinkling champagne juxtaposes extinguished flames.

The silver slivers are snakes of black with holes in their back squished by heat and heavy machinery slugging lost candles from hilltops to dark boxes below.

Those beautiful white horses had the wind in their sails whilst lifeless candles hid behind screens unseen by horses, champagne and flames. The unlit candles remain in their dark box waiting, and waiting for a match to strike that will signify their dawn... Locked in their box, not seeing the sunrise or the sunset, they never know when it is day or night.

And so it was; way up high on that lonesome trail where everything seemed so still. The scene was just a screen forming a backdrop for what is rarely seen.

Night Highway

1:26am
mind in the fast lane
no exit
what if there was?
where will it lead?
some place better?
doubt it
no sign of sleep
that's miles away
or did it pass?
past ex-lovers --
a desolate
long gone
lonesome place
now passing through
town of regrets
still no exit 
ah! a sign of hope
northbound
the opposite direction --
southbound
heading nowhere
where now?
running outta gas
slow down
the night is long
time stands still
the mind keeps going. 
5am
a few hours away
a red line
a horizon
signifies dawn
as orange appears
with azure blue
the madness fades
until the next mad ride
along night highway
a highway to nowhere
that never ends

Image: http://kevkevuk.deviantart.com/art/Tales-from-a-night-highway-157960780

A Tribute to Madame Bovary

you aspired to all not there
and found love you couldn't declare
lovers jilted you time and again
with no one there to dull your pain

you shielded Charles from all you knew
your true self revealed to only a few
your dreams hid under a veil of smiles
your mind meandered many fanciful miles

starved of sophistication you so admired
you sought what your heart truly desired
boredom encompassed your life external
fashions of Paris shimmered in your journal

but sadly Paris you never did see
alas your story is now history
forbidden love stole your life away
and now you'll not see another day

arsenic was the answer to your life pains
convinced you were you'd never love again
yield you couldn't to mundane contentment
your end was Charles' long death sentence

alas poor Charles he found your letters
leaving him estranged and torn in tatters
his awkwardness you grew to abhor
he hurt 'til his heart could ache no more

now Madame Bovary you'll never know
you were loved and tears for you flowed
but poor Charles just couldn't see
how both your lives were a tragedy

Madame Bovary and the bust of her creator, Gustave Flaubert

Old Times

She never asked for a band of gold
Big house, two kids and life old
She'd rather die young and agile
Than old and cold feeling fragile

Sitting still with memories past
Just waiting for the next task
Getting out the sodding chair
Life's become such a nightmare

Able bodied in a strange land
Waking again is hard to stand
When will this nonsense end?
How much longer can she pretend?

Here we go again, another day
Bus is late again says the display
Hello Mrs Brown how are you
Hips ache as usual, shoulder too

To the doctors for a checkup
Another x-ray, what the fuck
Aching knees and back brittle
She pours a drink alas not little

She swallows a little from her glass
Memories unfold of a love long past
A tear trickles down her cheek
If he could only hear her speak

But speak she may he'll never hear
He's long gone over a year my dear
She listens for him hard at night
And tries to feel him hold her tight

But when she finally falls asleep
Into her dreams he quietly creeps
They talk and dance the night away
But in the morning he never stays

She wakes alone with a start
Damn let it be real she imparts
Who is this lady old as can be
Is she my fear deep in me

Montmartre Antique Shop Window, Paris

Silent Minds

Screaming loudly in silence
Getting used to self-reliance
Yelling out loudly - no one cares
They are nothing but just scared

Reminded of their own deaths
No thought for your last breath
Listen to their priest they will
But their minds are never still

Watch them look in all directions
Oh so many introspections!
Easy for them to look away
Thoughts can wait another day

Gotta go here - gotta to do that
No time for your sweet back
Beware the offer when in need
As it arrives they'll quickly recede

As you plough through life in vain
Do lies comfort your dull pain?
Lifeless like a long lost pond
You wonder what the hell went wrong

You lost yourself along the way
Worried about what they'll say?
You never knew what to ask
Answers lost in the distant past

Truth hides deep in your mind
Fearful of what you'll find?
Take a look don't run and hide
Inner voices need to confide

Invisible

Darkness is falling without delay

As she wakes in her silent room

Led lights signal yet another day

More hours of persistent gloom

There's no reflection in her mirror

She only sees her invisible face

She misses all those who saw her

Perceiving her youth as full of grace

Alone she wonders around the shops

Everybody is busily running around

The faceless crowds cease to stop

Nobody hearing her silent sound

Nobody stopping just moving around

Heads with no eyes blank and blind

Oblivious to others' sights and sounds

They fail to see her tumultuous mind

Nobody stopping, just running around

Mouthless heads utter useless words

Always mute to each other's sounds

She's so weary of this restless herd

She wonders why they never call

How did she become so invisible

Just always talking to a brick wall

They never listen to one syllable

Making her way towards the midspan

She silently scales the four foot fence

What a beautiful day for such a plan

Will the faceless crowd express lament

There she ponders for a little while

A passerby stops and yells hey

The shimmering sheet greets her smile

She's already in the deep blue bay

The unknown neighbors below her floor

Had never heard her dog before

The frantic bark could not be ignored

The next morning they called the law

Coast-guards found her along the shore

The heart ripped from her aorta

But really she'd gone years before

Nobody said a word not one iota

The paper makes an inch long story

Neighbors silently shake their heads

Mutter platitudes reading her obituary

She was always so quiet they said

Invisible

Darkness is falling without delay

As she wakes in her silent room

Led lights signal yet another day

More hours of persistent gloom

There's no reflection in her mirror

She only sees her invisible face

She misses all those who saw her

Perceiving her youth as full of grace

Alone she wonders around the shops

Everybody is busily running around

The faceless crowds cease to stop

Nobody hearing her silent sound

Nobody stopping just moving around

heads with no eyes blank and blind

Oblivious to others' sights and sounds

They fail to see her tumultuous mind

Nobody stopping, just running around

Mouthless heads utter useless words

Always mute to each other's sounds

She's so weary of this restless herd

She wonders why they never call

How did she become so invisible

Just always talking to a brick wall

They never listen to one syllable

Making her way towards the midspan

She silently scales the four foot fence

What a beautiful day for such a plan

Will the faceless crowd express lament

There she ponders for a little while

A passerby stops and yells hey

The shimmering sheet greets her smile

She's already in the deep blue bay

The unknown neighbors below her floor

Had never heard her dog before

The frantic bark could not be ignored

The next morning they called the law

Coast-guards found her along the shore

The heart ripped from her aorta

But really she'd gone years before

Nobody said a word not one iota

The paper makes an inch long story

Neighbors silently shake their heads

Mutter platitudes reading her obituary

She was always so quiet they said