Shells

Why does his shell feel so hard
She cannot hear him deep inside
Their tears flow deep and unseen
Life just isn't the same it seems

She tries to breach his hidden shell
She wants to calm his living hell
He knows exactly how she feels
But time and space can only heal

How wasted nights fill empty space
Replacing their hidden special place
Can what was close become so distant
Now all that exists is stark resistance

Minor victories go without compliment
As if dismissed without sentiment
Pride is quickly tossed aside
When only hurt exists inside

Meanwhile she ponders in despair
Bound with a love belonging elsewhere
Are dreams just cheap tricks of hope
Minor distractions are how she copes

Her life-long love has long gone
Left her feeling that it's all a con
She got lost living a life of lies
Until it filled with empty despise

Appeasement killed her with subtle ease
As she lived life in order to please
She never heard her inward sound
A part of her was dead she found

Time never slowed or stood still
For her to see what was real
Did true love ever really exist
Was it another delusion of bliss

Autumn came when she found answers
Again her life was full of laughter
Still many questions remain unasked
And answers hide behind a mask

Those small victories she yearns to share
Quickly pass now he's not there
Pride is just a passing phase
Restored by memories of long gone days

She longs to comfort her hurting muse
But she knows that he'll pull through
She's careful of his fragility
And patiently waits with mental agility

An agility that dances around despair
Has she choreographed steps to nowhere
Or will he reappear a willing partner
And take her hand and dance beside her

by Karen Bayley-Ewell July 28, 2011

Night Run

I saw you running across the parking lot. You didn't hear me at first. I thought you were ignoring me. My heart sunk and I felt hurt. Maybe you didn't see me? Hear me, or even remember me? It had been so long. I ran to catch up with you in the morning sun. I was surprised at your pace. I called again. You turned -- and the smile returned that I remembered -- the one that melted my heart.

You were hot and sweaty. Clearly you'd been running for some time. I didn't care. We embraced once more. We held tight and resumed a night flight. We ran, and we ran, and talked and talked; I can't remember what about.

I don't know how many miles we ran. Such pleasure was immeasurable, but each mile felt as good as the last, regardless of how many passed. The run lasted the night. I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but still the moment was against a back drop of melancholy. I knew where we'd begun and that this run would end and that I would never be yours -- my friend. And indeed, the run ended.

A tear flowed onto my pillow.

It was time to get up. For once, getting up was easy for I was away from an unreal world that lies and deceives. A world that raises hopes to be no more -- like the sea disappearing along a shore.

Later that day, I took to the hills. Like an old time cine movie, I replayed the dream over a five mile run. You were beside my side again. Only this time, no tears, just a fond memory flowed. "Miles" can be recaptured anywhere and anytime. An unreal world, but a creation of mine. An action replay of a love sublime forever captured until the end of my time.

Hasanlu Lovers

two lovers lay without a face
tragically long silenced
discovered in this ancient place
no voice to tell their tale
as archaeologists dig
the voice of past
declare their story
their tale revealed at last
their grave captures
a timeless love
touching forever
in a loving embrace
this shared love
shines on with grace
how sweet they look
in their resting place
their voice of love speaks
through an eternal embrace
for love knows
no time, age or place

A Tribute to Madame Bovary

you aspired to all not there
and found love you couldn't declare
lovers jilted you time and again
with no one there to dull your pain

you shielded Charles from all you knew
your true self revealed to only a few
your dreams hid under a veil of smiles
your mind meandered many fanciful miles

starved of sophistication you so admired
you sought what your heart truly desired
boredom encompassed your life external
fashions of Paris shimmered in your journal

but sadly Paris you never did see
alas your story is now history
forbidden love stole your life away
and now you'll not see another day

arsenic was the answer to your life pains
convinced you were you'd never love again
yield you couldn't to mundane contentment
your end was Charles' long death sentence

alas poor Charles he found your letters
leaving him estranged and torn in tatters
his awkwardness you grew to abhor
he hurt 'til his heart could ache no more

now Madame Bovary you'll never know
you were loved and tears for you flowed
but poor Charles just couldn't see
how both your lives were a tragedy

Madame Bovary and the bust of her creator, Gustave Flaubert

Peaceful Moment

I reached the top of the segment where the trail flattened out before me. Specs of blue and yellow danced about a sea of green greeting me as I caught my breath from my first climb.

Yet it was not this breath-taking view of above and beyond that caught my gaze... but a golden gleam of orange illuminated by the warm early spring sun that captured my glance and warmed my thoughts.

My what a splendid sight of this jewel glowing so bright! Her dance gave me a feeling of warmth inside... Shimmering and bobbing up and down with pride, as if in praise of my every stride. I pause for while to admire her show. I exclaim, "Oh California poppy! You raise my spirit so! You are the sign of spring!"  She nodded her head in agreement as the soft warm breeze brushed her petals.

 She softened and embraced me with her beauty and glow. I resumed my own dance along the trail embracing my encounter with a moment of peace.

Old Times

She never asked for a band of gold
Big house, two kids and life old
She'd rather die young and agile
Than old and cold feeling fragile

Sitting still with memories past
Just waiting for the next task
Getting out the sodding chair
Life's become such a nightmare

Able bodied in a strange land
Waking again is hard to stand
When will this nonsense end?
How much longer can she pretend?

Here we go again, another day
Bus is late again says the display
Hello Mrs Brown how are you
Hips ache as usual, shoulder too

To the doctors for a checkup
Another x-ray, what the fuck
Aching knees and back brittle
She pours a drink alas not little

She swallows a little from her glass
Memories unfold of a love long past
A tear trickles down her cheek
If he could only hear her speak

But speak she may he'll never hear
He's long gone over a year my dear
She listens for him hard at night
And tries to feel him hold her tight

But when she finally falls asleep
Into her dreams he quietly creeps
They talk and dance the night away
But in the morning he never stays

She wakes alone with a start
Damn let it be real she imparts
Who is this lady old as can be
Is she my fear deep in me

Montmartre Antique Shop Window, Paris

The Beast - An Ode to Mount Tam

They quietly approached her at the crack of dawn
As she slumbers through this dark wet morn
Lightly footed they go a creeping
Careful not to disturb her sleeping

Will she fight so much today
Or will they keep her ire at bay..
Their legs a'trembling brows dripping in sweat
Alert and skittish trying to not fret

Ignoring the pounding in their chests
Approaching slowly is always best
They look up in awe at her dark face
Knowing to treat her with respect and grace

Silently cautiously they lunge up the stairs
Nervously climbing towards her lair.
Confusing them with awkward turns
Watching them check their way with concern

Taming the beast is such a feat
Many who try end in defeat
She shrouds herself in the sea mist
Teasing strangers with tricky turns and twists

The locals know the beast well
It's only strangers to whom she gives hell
She lays in wait for her opponents
Surprising them with heart-stopping moments

Chests start to loosen and they feel on track..
Dancing around obstacles along her back..
They're feeling strong and full of grace
They enter a trance with their quicker pace

But then in the middle of feeling great
They start to sense her full of hate
Her cold damp breath they suddenly feel
Cooling their skin to a deathly chill

Along the hackles of her long dark back
They start feeling her spit and crack
Pressing on aware of her hidden dangers
She heaves and bellows at these strangers

Showered with spit and deafened by wails
Relentlessly they continue climbing her trails
Breathing heavier legs a'cramping
Counting up the miles trampen'd

Holding on to her rearing contours
Sweating wondering what they're here for
Taming the beast is the usual reply
Love and respect for her grow by the miles

She offers them a brief reprieve
And they wonder if they've put her at ease
She calms a little with quiet warm breaths
Allowing them to continue on with their quest

She often pauses for a short while
That apparently is her usual style
Oh they're beginning to know her well!
This cunning but beautiful beast from hell

As the morning sun reveals her beauty
They finish like soldiers after a tour of duty
She calmly watches them descend her side
Licking them graciously with warmth and pride

Green and majestic is her dominant profile
They miss her turn away and her they'll-be-back smile
She patiently watches across the bay and sea
Waiting for more runners lured by her beauty

Fallen

They wanted to capture what was lost 

Both unaware of the hidden cost 

Mesmerized by their new connection 

But ambivalent about their direction 

She felt his leg against her thigh 

Sending her on an immediate high 

He felt her gently lean against him 

Arousing new feelings deep within 

She pressed against him on the street 

He loved the feel of such a treat 

Like wild teenagers on a dare 

They kissed in public upon a stair 

He wanted more with his tongue 

She teases him of more to come 

They're both dazed by new romance 

They venture homeward in a trance 

New thrills filled that empty space 

They had found that special place 

What was wrong felt so right 

Forbidden love they couldn't fight 

She warns him of impending danger 

But he's mesmerized by this stranger 

And eager to please his new treasure 

She grants his wish with reciprocal pleasure 

Expressing their pleasure deep within 

Gently carassing each other's skin 

Lovers blind to the sword overhead 

Precariously swinging over their bed 

The sword is suspended by a hair 

No strings attached they'd declare 

Until they felt like never before 

Sensually binding as they explore 

Forbidden secrets hang by a thread 

Like the sword above their heads 

The blade of the sword is so sharp 

Laying in wait to tear them apart 

Oblivious to the danger looming ahead 

Dancing to sweet music in their heads 

Her love for passion is her prowess 

Captivated he is by this temptress 

But Damocles sword glimmers above 

Now he knows he's in forbidden love 

Light from the sword catches his eye 

Catching him by startling surprise 

He aches for what he really wants 

But a guilty voice quietly taunts 

He relunctantly lets his muse go 

They tightly embrace as tears flow 

But Damocles sword can never sever 

Memories of passion that last forever 

A love that lives until both lovers die 

Existing in parallel in their mind's eye 

The Play

A few more hours of this charade

As she performs her act on stage

Crowds dutifully give polite applause

The play repeats like a broken record

It never used to feel this way 

She always welcomed another day 

Emptiness awaits after each engagement 

Now she's lost to love estrangement 

She wakes up aching every morning 

Throat hardening without warning 

She breaks a smile on the outside 

A silent scream hurts deep inside 

Tears are not permitted to flow 

Forbidden love must never show 

She presents a happy smiling face 

Until she finds her secret place 

There alone she can truly be real 

And allow her feelings to reveal 

Long hidden tears offer slight relief 

From her continuous ache of grief 

Like her play she hopes its unreal 

Alas her mind is rarely still 

He is what she most desires 

His passion used to set her on fire 

She yearns for him to make her fly 

Life is passing her aimlessly by

Craving for just another mind dance 

She performs each act in a trance 

Alone with him she was truly complete 

Another's love will never replete 

So real was their love connection 

How will she move beyond his rejection 

Memories meander through endless nights

Since he abandoned their short flight

She feels their limbs entwined in her bed 

As she plays with fantasies in her head 

She replays scenes of moments gone by 

Against a backdrop of a living lie 

Will her play ever reach a conclusion 

Or are dreams a constant illusion

Ode to an Orchid

In her hand her orchid settles
Exposing stamens with open petals
His erotic charm seducing her so
A tear of sentiment softly flows

She's mesmerized by his full bloom
But knowing how they'll part soon
This intimate moment will surely pass
She's sad her orchid will not last

Petals comfort with an open gaze
His beauty continuing to amaze
Impressions will always stay in mind
How beauty follows never far behind

She leaves behind her open flower
Drawn she is by this orchids power
Open petals assure with confidence
Her orchid will always be present

She seeks her orchids resting place
Returning to only an empty space
Her heart skips a momentary beat
Until she remembers last night's treat

She hears the orchid's whisper near
Telling her how he's always here
Images are all she needs in mind
And there her orchid she will find

Ode to a Rose

The English rose in her splendor
Is looking to spread her red petals
Adoring touches soft and tender
In an admirer's hand she will settle

Her thorns are mellow 'til scorned
Her petals quietly fall and wilt
Full bloom will soon be mourned
Leaving an admirer full of guilt

She yearns for an admirer's taste
Of her early morning dew
So seduce her at a gentle pace
And her petals will widen for you

Please handle her with loving care
And she'll willingly display with pleasure
Exposing her swollem bud to share
For her admirer to love forever